What is October for a breast cancer survivor?
October used to be when the leaves were changing, we were thinking of Halloween costumes and you saw pink ribbons all around. I was a supporter of all pink. I wanted to sign up for Breast Cancer walks in honor of my grandma who passed from the horrible disease. I was looking at all of the sites that had pink products that had a portion of sales going to Susan G Koman or the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. I wanted to support what they were doing in every way I could. I even purchased a tee that says “We wear Pink in October.”
This all changed 4 years ago. October of 2015, I didn’t want to see pink in any way shape or form. For me it was just a reminder that I was now a part of the group of survivors that I originally wanted so badly to support. How would I support myself this month. I glimpsed at what companies were doing and I applauded their outreach and support. October of 2015 would be my month of every day radiation. Every morning, I would wake up and walk the half a mile to Northwestern Memorial Hospital where I would go to the basement of the Prentice building - the dungeon to me. I would wait to be called back and go to the locker room where I would change into a gown and sit amongst others who were there for the same reason - to burn the cancer out of me. I sat amongst some breast cancer survivors as well as ovarian cancer survivors. My radiology team would come and get me and I’d lay on a cold slab while they fitted an already set form over my chest and armpit (my right arm was raised in the air). They lined the laser up to wear my tattoos were placed and then I laid for all of 5 minutes for them to zap my chest and underarm. I would have this process completed every day (excluding weekends) for the entire month of October.
After my surgery and finding my cancer was fully removed, I had the option of skipping the next step of radiation which was a part of my original treatment plan. My radiologist examined me and gave me the go ahead to proceed without radiation. He did give me the choice to continue with the original plan for security and peace of mind. I wasn’t willing to skip anything. I wanted to make sure that this cancer stayed away! After confirming I wanted to proceed with radiation, I went in for my radiation tattoos. These marks help the radiation therapist aim the radiation precisely where it's needed. Every treatment must be aimed at the same place in order to prevent recurrence and to spare healthy tissue. I received one black dot (the size of a freckle) in between my expandered boobs and one on my right side. It didn’t hurt, just felt like a small prick of a needle. The radiology team then created an "immobilization device" to stabilize my position on the treatment table.
I completed my treatment after 6 weeks - time to hit the gong! I got through October this year, but what would it look like the next few years as a survivor. I wouldn’t have chemotherapy, I wouldn’t have any surgeries (other than my reconstruction), and I wouldn’t have radiation to make sure that the breast cancer didn’t come back. In 2016, my husband and I traveled to Europe in September which took my mind off of the month ahead. In 2017, my husband and I traveled to the Upper Peninsula of MIchigan on a Survivor & Caregiver adventure via True North Treks. It was an unbelievable experience. In 2018, all that I cared about was focusing on my daughter who was one of the best things that had happened (well I guess since the day I married my husband and left New York for Chicago!).
This October, I’m not really sure what I want to make of it. I know one thing I will focus on is supporting organizations that are helping fund metastatic breast cancer. I recently lost a friend from my First Descents trip back in 2016. I have a friend who I met through work who has metastatic breast cancer. Bringing awareness to breast cancer in October is so important, but it’s really important to talk about it and bring awareness all year long. Later in the month, I will have an opportunity to share my story alongside of my oncologist so stay tuned. (checkout post here) If I can do two things this month, it will be to support Metastatic Breast Cancer Research and share with more people than I ever thought I’d be able to my story so that women will start talking about their family history, “feel it on the first,” have the chance to be a Previvor, get annual mammograms and support each other healthy or sick, happy or sad and allow each other to live our best lives while we let each moment be treasured.
