Scars
I suppose I love my scars because they have stayed with me longer than most people have. - Nikita Gill
So very true - this quote is based on my life!
A scar simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you. - UNKNOWN
I like to think that I have been strong through each and every scar I have received on my body.
Own your scars in a way you own your medals. - Kaulab Basu
I haven’t received any medals (other than recognition for tennis participation and piano skill tests), but I like this saying. I have a hard time looking at my scars especially the ones on my chest, but if a scar has to make an appearance don’t try to cover it up.
She wore her scars as battle wounds as they reminded her of the wars she had survived. - Zeenath Khan
Battle wounds make it sound like I’ve gone to war in the Middle East which I have not physically done. there are a lot of people out there fighting wars, but some days I feel like I’m fighting my own mini war with the thoughts in my head and the experiences I have had. I certainly have owned showing my scars as I can’t really hide them!
Watching my daughter’s skin heal so quickly after a tiny cut would amaze me. How did her delicate skin so carefully mend itself in the blink of an eye while I would look at scabs for weeks and when they would fall off I’d be left with a big scar in the center of my finger? Thanks to being so sensitive to bug bites and them turning into welts, I have had more of these scars than I’d like to share. As she has gotten older her skin takes a little longer to heal, but she is still without scars. I have always tried to take care of my skin and if I fell I would clean the cut up well and hope that there was only a small scar left behind. One of my first scars was from getting the chicken pox. I have one right near my belly button. I guess the calamine lotion rubbed off and I got to itching that chicken pox. Later on I would encounter more bumps and scrapes from falls and spills, even including burning my right wrist on a grill at a block party. We were roasting marshmallows and after getting distracted, moved my arm to knock into the side of the grill. It hurt like crazy and left me with a scar to remember that afternoon. Another scar I have on my back is from having a mole removed. It was quite large and the doctor felt it was necessary to have it removed. I had this procedure complete at the dermatologist's office leaving a nice scar on the middle of my back. Years after that I would receive a large scar from the Pacific Ocean while I was in Hawaii. I like to tell people it’s my “shark story”, but the only shark I was terrified of, was the one that could find me with all the blood that was coming out of the gash in my leg from the coral I got caught in doing a short dive. Luckily, I was ok, but I have a nice scar to remember that dive from.
I received more scars on my body from additional enlarged bug bites I couldn’t refrain from itching, slicing fingers with knives when I was in a hurry and finding my fingers caught in a car door and paper folder (don’t ask!). These scars I left at the door and realized that there was nothing I could do but embrace them and if someone asked, tell them the story (or at least stretch the truth) of how I received them.
I don’t love the idea of scraping and scarring up this beautiful body I was given, but 5 years ago I would find out that receiving scars was just going to be a norm for me to ensure my body stayed healthy. I will forever look at my right side and see the scars from my biopsies and where my breast surgery drains hung. On the left I will see the scars from my drains as well. Straight ahead looking at my chest I will be reminded of the port in my upper right chest to have chemotherapy drugs administered. A little bit lower, the scars from my breast surgery would be a site to see. Two long red scars across where my breasts and nipples once were and long faded scars on the underside of my fake boobs.
Further down on my torso I would find a few tiny scars where they skin grafted for the breast reconstruction surgery. Not too far from these scars are 3 scars - one in my belly button and one near each hip bone from the salpingectomy I had removing both Fallopian tubes and my right ovary.
Years ago, the thought of all these scars would have put me in a plastic bubble. I have always taken care of my body and I felt that scrapes and scars only showed that you harmed that body the that took care of you. I soon would realize that scars are beautiful and it means that you took a risk or that you fought or were challenged. I am now finally living and letting the scars take me down roads I’ve never been.
COUNTING SCARS…
Chest/ Breast (reconstruction, removal of breasts, biopsies)
Back (removal of mole)
Belly Button (removal of Fallopian tubes)
Stomach (removal of Fallopian tubes and skin grafting)
Upper Torso - Sides (2 drains on each side)
Upper Chest (port)
Underarm (radiation)
Lower Leg (Shark Bite/ Coral attack)
Belly and Arm (chicken pox)
