Sitting in my living room, listening to “Dream Vibes” on Spotify I’m trying to take in the moments I just experienced the past 4 days at Miraval Wellness Resort and Spa- Austin, while my house is shaking from the house being knocked down next door, I’m watching the trees moving around the grey sky and I’m back to hearing the sounds of the city. The only hint of color are the little red buds on the tree in front of my window. I’m wishing I was looking at the bright green trees of Austin, but I remember I have the moments (and photos) with me to be mindful.

It was the first time my husband and I were away from my baby girl Matilda. I cried as we left her in the arms of my mom and my dad took us to the airport. It was a much needed trip for all of us - Eric and me, but also Matilda. Miraval was exactly what we needed. We were picked up from the airport and taken 45 minutes outside of the downtown area of Austin where we drove up and down bright green hills with beautiful blue, orange, pink and white wild flowers lining the road. We had a few hiccups when we arrived, but the staff was quick to make it right and we started on our mindful journey.

The first night we enjoyed a chef dinner made special for us by the Executive Chef. Everything was delicious from the burrata and strawberries to the acorn squash onion soup! After a day of travel and the cloud like bed we had to sleep in we both passed out to get our day started early the next day.

We woke up to rain but we made the best of it and headed to breakfast before making our way to downtown Austin. It’s a beautiful city that even in the rain put smiles on our faces. We toured around the capital building and walked down South Congress enjoying some of Torchy’s tacos. We tried so have some BBQ, but people aren’t kidding when they say there are lines outside the door and around the corner. Maybe next time! The skies cleared up on our way back to the resort and we enjoyed the evening at the pool before dinner.

Monday, started what I would say our mindfulness portion of the trip. We woke up to an amazing sunrise. I only think I’ve seen the sunrise twice before over the horizon. I’ve seen many sunsets, but there’s something about seeing the sun coming up with the color in the sky getting you ready for a new day. It was like I had Beginner’s Mind - seeing the sun rise for the first time (or really seeing it for the first time in a few months!). We enjoyed a nice breakfast outside overlooking the hills with Lake Travis near by. I made my way to the pool to enjoy the warm temperature while my husband went to the farm for some time with the chickens. Everything that was prepared for our meals came from the farm. The chickens provided the eggs, not the meat. I then enjoyed an amazing facial- one of the best I have ever had! All of the products were organic and vegan (some having a not so great smell, but if they worked that’s all I cared about). I left feeling so relaxed and joined my husband at the spa pool before lunch. After lunch I took a yoga class in the Yoga Barn while looking out these huge black pained windows looking out over the preserve the resort was built on. It felt great to move while relaxed and with my mind only focused on being present. Most of the time I’m at yoga worrying about what I’m supposed to do when I get home, but this was a nice change. That evening we had dinner and had 9pm massages. I was a little worried that it was going to be too late, but the front desk representative booking the spa for us said people do it all the time and then just go to their rooms and pass out. Well this is exactly what we did, right after we enjoyed the amazing night sky of stars in the hot tub. There’s something about the night sky that really brings me peace. The whole outer space thing makes me think too much and puzzles me so I can’t think too much about it, but the bright lights shining down on me while sitting next to my husband in our very comfy robes, just put my mind at ease. My aunt gave me a sign that read “they are not stars in the sky but loved ones looking down on us.” I’d like to believe that, but not totally sure what I believe. (I won’t go to much into this as this is a tough topic for me). This is the first time before the massage I was asked if I had an intention. I wasn’t ready for the question so I said I didn’t know. The massage therapist suggested to just relax and be in the moment - I thought that was a good idea. I certainly relaxed! (Other than not being able to breath very well due to my sinuses). Wouldn’t it be nice to have a massage weekly!

Tuesday was was another amazing day. A beautiful sunrise and we headed to breakfast outside. It was then time for Eric and I to challenge ourselves and try something new for one of us and the second time for the other. The last time I rode a horse was in Girl Scouts (the one year I was in it) at a Dude Ranch. The horses were all following each other until my decided to just lay down with me on it. That’s the last moment I remember with a horse. This experience was nothing like the one many years before. First, our horse instructor Amare was amazing and helped to put our minds at ease. Second, the confidence I felt was great. I at first had nerves all over my body when standing next to Pepper (my beautiful white and black horse). I wasn’t nervous, but my anxiety had taken over and make me feel a little uncomfortable. Mind over matter for sure! I breathed and did my best to calm down so that the horse didn’t feel my anxiety. I also didn’t want to act like I was brave either because we were told they pick up on that too! We were instructed how to walk around the horses and how to lead them to the open space where we would then learn the direction pulls and taps. Once I got up on the saddle I felt good, but not great yet. I’m always fearful that I will forget directions. Even before my chemo brain I always was afraid I would forget what I was told and then press the wrong button, or send the wrong note, or just mess up the assignment all together. Here I was in that moment of what happens if I pull the reigns the wrong way. I luckily was on a horse that had taken the trail a million times and I was in good hands with our instructor so I settled down. As we walked towards the creek my confidence started to rise - something I’m not used to. My confidence is usually pretty low to to have confidence while riding on top of this large animal was very exciting. As usual, Pepper of course would have an attitude and tried testing me on our way up the trail. She kept stopping to nibble on some tasty leaves which put me in a position of trying to get her away from the plant and up the trail. I was very proud of myself that I didn’t get frustrated the way I usually would have. I breathed and listened to the instructor who provided tips to get her to move on her way. My confidence only grew as we trotted on with getting her to move when she stopped. This was such a great thing for me. I didn’t get agitated and I “let it be” while enjoying the train versus letting it get to me.

After a thrilling morning on horses, we headed to Lake Travis for some jet skiing. Again my anxiety and confidence would be tested even though I had been jet skiing many times before. There are only three things to know- the green button turns it on, the red turns it off and on the right side there is the trigger to get the motor goin, but I still struggled to keep my anxiousness from getting the best of me. My husband and the idea of being on the water though helped me to “let my hair down” (blowing in the wind) and take on the speed. I love the water and there is something about it that calms me. We enjoyed a few hours on the lake taking in the views and headed back to the pool at the resort. I took a nice stretch and relax class where I felt really good inside. The movement and stretching made me feel all that I had accomplished that day. Many times I doubt what I can do and I’m happy I am getting to a place where I am not doubting as much.

We unfortunately had to leave this amazing place, but I was ready to head home to see my daughter. Leaving with one of my new favorite mantras on my chest, I will do my best to remember to “be mindful, be centered and be grateful!” Thank you Miraval- Austin ( https://www.miravalaustin.com/about-miraval/) for a wonderful experience. I look forward to one day visiting Miraval - Arizona. (https://www.miravalarizona.com )

I know that not everyone is able to take vacations such as this, but I hope that you can take some time for yourself to explore a spot near by you where you can be mindful, be centered, be grateful and “liv & let”. Please share some places that you have experienced near or far that have given you the opportunity to be while thriving through.

Be Mindful, Be Centered, Be Grateful